Tuesday, June 12, 2012

John Carter - #13 of 2012


Erg… ummm… hmmm… ick.

So… I really wanted to like this movie.  I really did.  I wanted to tell all the naysayers to stick it.  But… erg… for debuting at #9 on my list, John Carter should be thankful for two things:

1.  That I’ve only seen 11 moves, so far, this year, and…

2.  The direct-to-video market stinks the big one.

As anyone who followed Friday Night Lights will tell you, playing a self-destructive alcoholic of a brut is totally in Taylor Kitsch’s wheel house… but this movie makes him look like an amateur. 

I just can’t beat around the bush here… this movie was simply ‘no good’… in any way.

Sadly, I blame director/writer Andrew Stanton.  Sure, he is a true talent.  He’s an amazing part of the Pixar team, having directed A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, and WALL-E… and he had a hand in writing all three installments of Toy Story… but John Carter shows the disconnect that can happen when moving from animated films to live-action.  It just didn’t work.

I… I just… I so wanted to like this movie.  But I can’t even begin to explain how much I didn’t care for it.  It just didn’t work.  At all.  Not even in the slightest way.

It is so sad.  The John Carter of Mars source material has so much to offer… but the film left so much to be desired.  I just… I don’t know where to begin.  So I won’t even start.

All I will say is this.  I am still a fan of Andrew’s animated work.  And I still think Taylor is a film actor.  But together… John Carter didn’t work at all.  I don’t know whose fault it was… but perhaps, the story would be more suited for a television series.

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