Best Films of 2011 – Dynamic List (Updated: December 2, 2012)

The concept of the Dynamic List is pretty simple.  As I see films, they become eligible to be placed onto the list.  The list is rank ordered from best to worst, so films are placed onto the list based on how I liked that film in comparison to others that came out the same year.  Just because a film enters the list at #10 doesn't mean it will stay there… as films enter the list, others will be pushed down to lower rankings, which is why the list is dynamic.  The list is ever changing.  Sure, my focus may be on the films of 2012, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped watching films from previous years.  And as I do… my previous lists continue to be dynamic!

Films of 2011:

1. Win Win
2. The Artist
3. Midnight in Paris
4. Margin Call
5. Moneyball
6. Super 8
7. Crazy, Stupid, Love
8. Hugo 
9. The Help
10. 50/50
11. Young Adult
12. Drive
13. The Guard
14. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II
15. The Adventures of TinTin 
16. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
17. The Descendants
18. The Muppets 
19. Take Shelter
20. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
21. My Week with Marilyn
22. Carnage
23. Melancholia
24. Hanna
25. We Need to Talk about Kevin
26. Colombiana
27. Tower Heist
28. Arthur Christmas
29. Sucker Punch
30. The Debt
31. The Ides of March
32. The Big Year
33. The Hangover 2
34. Cedar Rapids
35. Beginners
36. Our Idiot Brother
37. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
38. The Lincoln Lawyer
39. Your Highness
40. Bridesmaids
41. Cowboys and Aliens
42. Dolphin Tale
43. Larry Crowne
44. Straw Dogs
45. Anonymous
46. Battle: Los Angeles
47. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
48. Fright Night
49. Water for Elephants
50. Real Steel
51. War Horse
52. Horrible Bosses
53. The Green Hornet
54. Rio
55. Puss 'n Boots
56. 30 Minutes or Less
57. Cars 2
58. Contagion
59. The Adjustment Bureau
60. Bad Teacher
61. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
62. Red Riding Hood
63. Hoodwinked Too!  Hood vs. Evil
64. Lion King 3D (Really?  3D?)
65. Hop
66. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World
67. Smurfs
68. The Dilemma
69. Priest
70. The Change-Up

Trailers – The Will Ferrell Double Feature

It’s going to be a good year for Will Ferrell.  I was not a hug fan while he was on SNL… but I can’t get enough of his movies.  I don’t think his brilliance can be captured in a two minute sketch.  Will needs an hour and a half to make his magic. 

The Avengers - #2 of 2012

It’s really hard to piggy back all the great press on The Avengers… so I’m going to try and keep this simple.  I’m just going to share my favorite things about the movie as well as a few issues I have.  And don’t worry.  The things I applaud far out weight the issues.

Favorite #1:  Joss Whedon Made It Work

Joss Whedon really is the man who pulled this thing together.  And I’m not just saying that because I am a fan.  I’m saying that because it’s the truth.  When Marvel Films announced their plan of making a series of movies centered on different characters from The Avengers lexicon; and then to bring those individually established characters together for an Avengers movie I thought it was a brilliant business and marketing endeavor.  However, I never thought The Avengers would work as a movie.  And when I heard Joss had signed on to write and direct I had to say a little prayer and muster up a little faith. 

Joss is an incredible talent.  I am a huge fan of all of his televisions series: Buffy, Firefly, Angel, and even Dollhouse, which I think is one of the most underrated shows of the last decade.  He has this incredible gift of always knowing what the audience wants… and he delivers, while also challenging and surprising his audience as well.  At the same time, Joss has been plagued with producers and networks who think they know better, when they really don’t.  Ever since his first feature film, Serenity, failed to strike a chord with audiences I’ve been concerned.  And as the hype surrounding The Avengers grew and grew exponentially… so did my concern.  If the film did not meet expectations… Joss’ film career would be over... and he’d be back to fighting for respect from the networks.

All I can say is this.  Joss threw down the gauntlets and gave Hollywood the “what’s up”.  Not only did The Avengers live up to the hype.  It exceeded the hype.  It exceeded the hype in a world so cynical that the very notion of exceeding hype seems impossible… magical. It happened.  The movie works.  It’s fun.  It’s dramatic.  It is action packed.  It’s funny.  It’s Joss Whedon.  His writing and directing style is all over this movie. 

Now, I can’t give Joss credit for reinventing the superhero movie.  Christopher Nolan did what with Batman Begins, however I do believe Joss Whedon has reinvented the summer blockbuster.  He has made the ultimate popcorn action flick.  And if Marvel Films is smart, they would hire Joss as their Chief Creative Officer.

Favorite #2: Clark Gregg Shines as Phil Coulson

This was Clark Gregg’s fourth appearance in The Avengers franchise; previously appearing in both Iron Man’s and Thor.  In each of the previous installments, SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson wasn’t exactly a likeable guy.  Sure, he always on the side of right… but he’s always been sort of a di… jerk.  But now, in The Avengers we get to see a completely different side to Agent Coulson.  His softer side.  His human side.  And as a viewer, I couldn’t help loving him!  It was pretty masterful writing by the way.  Gwyneth Paltrow’s lovely Pepper Pots set the stage for a loveable Coulson… and his fan-boy obsession with Captain American made him accessible and endearing.  Rumor has it that he’ll be back for Iron Man 3... I can’t wait!   

Favorite #3: Scarlett Johansson Best Performance… Ever

Okay, I am not a huge Scarlett Johansson fan… but she was fantastic in this movie.  I would even describe her Black Widow as a scene stealer.  She was fantastic.  Joss is known for writing strong female characters and it was obvious here.  I found Black Widow somewhat forgettable in Iron Man 2… but there is no forgetting her this time!

Favorite #4: The Handling of The Hulk

Mark Ruffalo is getting tons of great press for his portrayal of Bruce Banner/The Hulk and he deserves every bit of it.  The Hulk, in movies, has always been a point of contention for me.  I didn’t like the version Eric Banna made with Ang Lee… and I thought Edward Norton’s was only slightly better.  And I think it is because both movies tried to follow The Hulk’s creation myth.  However, that isn’t The Hulk’s legacy.  The REAL story of The Hulk isn’t about The Hulk at all… it’s about Bruce Banner and him trying to keep his sh—together… the internal struggle of man over monster.  This is why I think the television series was so successful.  The Hulk told in the style of The Fugitive (the television series, not the movie).  And before now, I had developed the opinion that television is where The Hulk belonged… but I’m not so sure any more.  Ruffalo now has a six picture deal with Marvel… so I am sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of him.  Thank goodness.

Favorite #5:  The On-Screen Chemistry of Robert Downey, Jr. and Mark Ruffalo

There isn’t much more I can say about this one.  The two make it look so dang easy and they are a joy to watch.

Issue #1:  Poor Use of Jeremy Renner… AGAIN!

You know?  I just don’t get it.  I don’t get it at all.  Jeremy is a fantastic actor.  He’s been nominated for the Academy Award twice!  This is his second film in The Avengers franchise as Hawkeye and I feel like they have barely used him.  When he popped up in Thor I was like, “awesome!”  And then after about five minutes of screen time he was gone.  I was confused… but I knew The Avengers was coming so I figured they had something big in store for him… but they didn’t.   

Now, that said… they definitely laid the ground work the Hawkeye/Black Widow relationship.  These two have a very long and sorted history together in the annals of Marvel Comics.  I think it would be interesting to see a movie centering about the two of them.

Issue #2: Cobie Smulders

If you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother you probably don’t know who Cobie Smulder is.  I was very interested in seeing Cobie as Maria Hill.  However, I don’t feel like they did a whole lot with her.  It was just kind of a ho-hum performance if you ask me.  BUT!  Maria Hill has a very interesting Marvel Legacy as well.  One that is very intertwined with all of The Avengers, especially Nick Fury, Tony Stark, and Captain America.  So… although she isn’t currently attached to any of the forthcoming Avengers flicks… she could pop-up in any number of them.  And I think that is the kind of movie universe Marvel Films wants to create.  A movie universe that mirror their comic book universe.  Now that the characters are established and interconnected… anything can happen.

'Se7en Below' - Worst Movie of 2012

Okay.  So I grew up watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 and I’ll admit it, have a soft spot in my heart for cheesy horror films… low budget films… films that are so poorly crafted that I can’t help but love them.  Does anyone else share my love/hate relationship with The Room?  It is so bad it is hauntingly brilliant. 

However, 7 Below is quite literally the worst movie I’ve seen in over a decade.  And when I use the word “worst” I am not saying it in an endearing way.  It is legitimately horrible.  I've seen high school student make more compelling movies on a Sunday afternoon.


7 Below is unrankable, which is why I am just going to call it the worst movies of the year, even though it is only May, and be done with it.  And that is saying a lot because 2012 has already brought us Columbus Circle, another God-awful flick.  But unlike 7 Below, Columbus Circle, actually had potential to be good... it just failed.  7 Below had no potential.  

Anyway, there really is no point of me continuing. Known simply as ‘Russell’, the movie critic over at Flesh Eating Zipper has posted, what I consider to be, the quintessential review of 7 Below. No matter how witty and insightful I think I am… there is no way I can improve upon Russell’s perfection. So, instead of trying I am going to give credit where credit is due and simple repost:

*****

The mafia needed to launder some money. That’s the only explanation I can think of for the existence of 7 Below, this week’s straight-to-DVD turd starring Val Kilmer and Ving Rhames. You’d think a movie starring Val Kilmer and Ving Rhames couldn’t be all bad. You’d be wrong. I sure was. I desperately want to say something semi-witty or insightful about this movie, but I can’t. F*** this movie. Just…f*** it.

Five idiots take a shuttle bus from a resort (apparently in the middle of nowhere) to the nearest airport when they crash on a deserted highway. Ving Rhames shows up dressed like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven and ushers them to his house, claiming that a storm is approaching and that they will all be safe there; the shuttle driver dies in the accident, but no one seems very bothered by the prospect of callously leaving his body behind to feed vultures. The ragged crew head without protest to a two story house that’s either haunted or resting upon a tear in the space-time continuum—the writers don’t seem to know or care and neither do I for that matter.

7 Below starts out feeling like the type of horror flick that was parodied in the brilliant Cabin in the Woods (which we here at Flesh Eating Zipper absolutely loved), but it gets worse. At least the generic horror story at the heart of that movie was competently crafted and occasionally scary. This movie is boring and ugly to look at. It doesn’t even pass into so-bad-it’s-good territory; it’s just infuriating.

Shortly after the clueless sacrificial lambs arrive at the house, they start dying. The first character’s death is obviously the result of foul play, but no one expresses any real concern. Could the killer possibly be the creepy fucking black guy who lives out in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t possess a telephone or a computer, and dresses like a nineteenth century frontiersman? These idiots don’t seem to think so. They also don’t seem to have cell phones, because not once does anyone attempt to contact the outside world for help.

And despite the fact that the movie is titled 7 Below the weather never seems to get all that cold. All of the characters spend the movie running around in t-shirts and dresses, never displaying the slightest discomfort. The menacing storm that Ving Rhames warns everyone about never turns up. The weather mostly consists of some light rain (not snow or hail) and some mild thunder and lightening. None of the brain dead characters realize that the weather actually isn’t that bad and that their chances of survival are better out in the rain than in the time traveling haunted house.

The casting is the movie’s strongest point which isn’t saying much. Val Kilmer’s mug adorns the poster, but he’s in the movie for all of five minutes, and he doesn’t do much acting here. In fact, I’m skeptical that the director even gave him a script. More likely, the crew just loaded Kilmer up on Peach Schnapps one afternoon and filmed the result without him ever knowing what was going on. Ving Rhames seems to be having a good time here, but everyone else fails to even register.

The cinematography is complete shit. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if these clowns shot the entire movie with natural lighting. That’s not always a bad idea, but it’s asinine when your entire film takes place at night in a three bedroom house. 90% of the movie consists of vague outlines of people stumbling around in the dark and whispering to each other.

Even if I cared about the proceedings, I wouldn’t be able to follow them because the film is completely incomprehensible. I spent so much time squinting and trying to figure out what was going on in each scene that I thought I was going to have an aneurysm, which honestly would have been a blessing because it would have prevented me from having to watch one more minute of this movie.

I would give 7 Below a rating of zero, but no movie starring Ving Rhames deserves a zero, even if it the production is just a crappy front for laundering dirty money.

Here is a link to Russell’s latest reviews: http://www.flesheatingzipper.com/author/russell/